Alexandra Andreevna Tolstaya

Alexandra is assumed to have been born in Moscow to Count Andrei Andreevich Tolstoy (1771-1844) and Praskovia Vasilievna (née Barykova; 1796–1879). She had two brothers, Ilya (1813-1879) and Vasily (1813-1841), who devoted themselves to the military, and two sisters Elizaveta (1815-1867)  and Sophia (1824-1895) who like herself, would remain unmarried. They were brought up by their mother, and her cousin Praskovya Stepanovna Barykova (1805-1844).

Alexandra and Elizabeth would enter the court as ladies-in-waiting to Grand Duchess Maria Nikolaevna, Elizabeth became the tutor of Princess Eugenia Maximilianovna, and Alexandra became the tutor of Princess Maria Maximilianovna in 1846.

Grand Duchess Maria Alexandrovna of Russia age 18 by Franz Xaver Winterhalter.

The pedagogy and skill of Alexandra was appreciated at court, and in 1866 she was invited by Empress Maria Alexandrovna to raise Grand Duchess Maria Alexandrovna, the only daughter of Alexander II. She held this position until the Grand Duchess' marriage in 1874 to Alfred, Duke of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha. As a token of gratitude, she was awarded the Order of Saint Catherine, the highest award for court ladies. Upon the death of Alexander II, he bequeathed her a portrait of the Grand Duchess at age 18. After 1881, Alexandra Andreevna occupied rooms on the mazzanine of the South Pavilion of the Small Hermatige. She died there at the age of 86 from acute bronchitis. She was buried in a church on Konyushennaya Square in the presence of the Grand Dukes and the Empress, at the request of which a monument was erected at the expense of the royal court.

Alexandra met Lev Tolstoy in the spring of 1857 whilst she was in Switzerland with the 'small court' of Grand Duchess Maria Nikolaevna. Tolstoy confessed in his diary, he would be ready to fall in love, if it weren't for the age difference.[2] They began a long-term friendship.[3]

Alexandra, whom he jokingly referred to as 'grandmother' in his letters, was 11 years older than him. Due to her residing in the capital, the two did not see each other often, but despite this, she became a friend and mentor to the writer. Together they contributed to causes such as aiding the starving during a drought and intervened on behalf of the Doukhobors, as a people being persecuted for their beliefs.

When Tolstoy expressed interest in the fate of the decembrists, she directed him to Vasily Perovsky, whom she loved through her life. The writer used many of Perovsky's memories in his works, and Alexandra's correspondences to inform his writings about life in the capital, events at court, and at salons. Alexandra became the prototype of a character in Tolstoy's last novel, Resurrection, Aline, the organizer of the Magdalen shelter. She developed a close relationship with Sophia Tolstaya, and was godmother of the Tolstoy's youngest daughter, Alexandra, who was named in her honour.[4]

Alexandra was deeply religious, a topic which came up much in her correspondence with Tolstoy, who was regarded as a Christian anarchist. She repeatedly made attempts to 'convert' him to orthodoxy that were received coldly. Their letters were published in 1911 by the Society of the Tolstoy Museum in St. Petersburg after the death of both addressees, as per the will of Alexandra Andreevna, who prepared the correspondence for publication.[5]