How to BS Your Way Through a College Paper

Read the assignment requirements closely. Consult the syllabus or your online course page for information on the assignment. See if it asks you to answer a specific question or explain research you’ve completed. Understanding what your professor requires can keep you on topic and maximize the time you have to write your essay.^[1]

• Avoid sending the professor last minute questions about the assignment; it's a dead giveaway you did not do much work.

Develop a plan. Before beginning, write a sensible plan to guide yourself through the paper. Break the essay into manageable parts that you can stick to during your allotted time. Allot specific times based on your strengths and weaknesses in writing. Consider using a plan such as the following:^[2]

• 9:00 – 9:30 – Consider paper topic and your argument
• 9:30 – 10:30 – Conduct research.
• 10:30 – 10:40 – Short break.
• 10:40 – 11:00 – Write introductory paragraph.
• 11:00 – 12:15 – Write main body text.
• 12:15 – 13:00 – Write your essay.
• 13:00 – 14:00 – Weave in research and expert opinions.
• 14:00 – 14:15 – Short break.
• 14:15 – 15:00 – Revise and "beef up" your essay with extra text.
• 15:00 – 15.15 – Check your essay for errors and print (or submit if your professor uses an online service, such as Google Classroom).

Hook your reader with the introduction. Use the introduction to let your readers know what you’re going to say in the paper. Start with a hook, which grabs your reader’s attention and interest.^[3] Make sure to clearly state your argument in simple prose, which is the entire point of the paper. Writing a strong introduction may distract your professor from an otherwise terribly written body.^[4]

• An example of a hook could be “A letter from South Africa arrived in Hamburg, Germany during 1945. The message was from Adam Landauer, a German Jew interned in a camp for enemy aliens. An index card, nestled among 50 million other such cards, summarizes what action was taken in response. The location service found his missing brother. Max’s letter showed the importance of tracing agencies to reconstructing Europe after war.”

String together the paper’s body. Allow yourself to free-write the “meat,” or body, of your paper. Build on 2-3 relevant points that you’ve learned in class. Then analyze these points with your thoughts and opinions based on lectures and assigned readings. This can quickly add length to the paper that you can shape with some expert research in the revision process.^[5]

• Write simple sentences, which can simply the paper-writing process. For example, you can easily build off of these four statements: “Roman rulers possessed considerable wealth;” “wealthy Romans used aqueducts built with lead before poorer citizens;” “the lead made the Roman leadership crazy;” “the Roman empire declined before aqueducts were widespread.”

Conclude your essay. Revisit what you’ve said in the introduction and body of your paper in the conclusion. Provide a strong impression that you did what you set to do in the paper for your professor by saying things such as, “But Max’s case highlights the binary of humanitarian assistance: it was simultaneously benevolent and political. This challenges earlier scholarship on the apolitical nature of humanitarian aid.” These types of statements may make your professor forget about the haphazard nature of your research and writing.^[6]