This article was co-authored by Tami Claytor and by wikiHow staff writer, Janice Tieperman. Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
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It may not always be easy to be nice to people, especially when you're in a bad mood or are stuck with someone who annoys you. But if you make the effort to do the most basic things, like smiling, holding doors open for people, or asking people how they're doing, you'll be able to create a more pleasant environment for yourself and everyone around you. Not only will being nice to people make them respect you more, but it will also make your day sunnier! If you want to know how to be nice to people, see Step 1 to be on your way.
Steps
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1Smile at people. Smiling can put others at ease and cause them to want to get to know you better.[1] It is the best way to show people you are friendly, and the starting point for any positive interaction.
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2Introduce yourself to new people. If you're in a room with someone you don't know and everyone else seems to know each other, take the time to introduce yourself.[2]
- When meeting someone for the first time, try to make eye contact, smile, and keep your hands out of your pockets.[3]
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3Give a sincere compliment. Everyone loves compliments, so don't be afraid to say something positive about the other person. But be careful, though, not to flatter them too much. Too much flattery can give the impression that you are sucking up to them.[4]
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4Be polite. You should be just as polite to strangers as you would be to your family members. Even if you're having a bad day, take the time to say "excuse me," to hold doors for people, and to treat people with a basic level of respect.[5]
- For instance, if you're in an elevator, you could wait for other people to enter, even if you're in a rush.[6]
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5Offer help. It's important to offer to help the people you see around you, whether it's a person with their arms full who can't open a door, a child who dropped a toy, or an elderly person who has difficulty walking. One day, you may need to rely on the kindness and help of a stranger, so you should get the good karma going while you can.
- For example, you might help an elderly person who's having some trouble crossing the street.[7]
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6Be a good listener. One of the best ways to be nice to the people you know is to take the time to truly listen to them. Stop texting your other friend or looking around, and give the person you care about all of your attention.[8]
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7Ask how the person is doing. Simply taking the time to say, "How are you?" and really meaning it is a great way to be nice to a person. Don't just ask this question in passing, but ask it in a way that really shows you mean it and care about the person and what they are feeling.
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Warnings
- While you're at it, see if you can find some common ground, whether you and that person like the same sports team or grew up in the same hometown. You may be surprised by how much you and the person have in common -- and by how much easier it suddenly is to be nice.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Avoid touchy subjects. If you're around a person who you don't generally get along with, avoid the things that you know will make that person upset, or the things that will make you more annoyed. Try to stick to the safe, polite topics, like your health, the weather, or school or whatever it is you have to talk about, and you will be far better off than if you tread on territory that is touchy or immediately controversial. If you want to be nice, then you should avoid pushing a person's buttons -- or having yours pushed.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Avoid gossip. Gossiping about the people you know and love is just plain mean. It will definitely get back to them and will make you look like a person that nobody can trust. If you want to be nice to the people you care about, don't talk about them behind their backs; if you have an issue with them, bring it up to that person in a constructive way instead of broadcasting it to everyone in town. Gossiping is mean-spirited and will make you a meaner person.[11]⧼thumbs_response⧽
References
- ↑ https://www.mantelligence.com/how-to-get-to-know-someone/
- ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/how-to-introduce-yourself-so-youll-be-unforgettable-in-a-good-way/
- ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-sincere-compliments-can-help-you-connect-with-others-0222175
- ↑ https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/politeness.html
- ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-do-life/201405/how-become-better-listener
- ↑ http://www.cusscontrol.com/tips1.html
- ↑ Tami Claytor. Etiquette Coach. Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.
- ↑ https://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-stop-gossiping-and-creating-drama/
About This Article
To be friendly and kind, start by smiling more at people to put them at ease. Even if you don’t speak, try to be considerate of others by doing things like holding open the door or letting someone go ahead of you in line. During conversations, maintain good eye contact to show that you value the other person’s time and what they have to say. Taking a few moments to see how people’s days are really going makes them feel good about themselves. Don’t be afraid to give out a sincere compliment, either! In general, try to curse less around others, which makes you seem vulgar and angry, and avoid gossiping because it makes you seem negative and untrustworthy. If a family or friend is having a hard time, giving them a hug, sending texts to show that you care, and setting aside time in your day to spend with them is comforting. For more information on how to brighten others’ days, scroll down!
