How to Control Your Overconfidence

Co-authored by Seth Hall

Last Updated: May 3, 2022 References Approved

Many teenagers go through a period of time when they seem to think they are indestructible, the "Nine foot tall and bulletproof" stage. Overconfidence contributes to this, and learning one's limits or going through a reality check can be painful, or worse.

1

Be honest with yourself first.

When you carefully consider your abilities, you should begin to recognize your limits.^{[1]
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- Journaling and reflecting on your abilities can be a great resource. At the end of the day, try writing about what you accomplished so you can see where you did well and what needs improvement. Take that self assessment seriously, as it can be extremely helpful.

2

Do not compare yourself with others.

Overconfidence, like arrogance, is a way of depreciating other people's talents, skills, and abilities. Just because someone else can get "serious air" on an 8 foot (2.4 m) half pipe doesn't mean you can. They have paid their dues with practice, and probably lots of bruises.^{[2]
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3

Test yourself cautiously.

Don't dive off the high board until you have made lots of trips to the low board and worked on intermediate levels.

4

Listen to criticism, especially constructive criticism from people you trust.

This may be one of the most important steps in abating your overconfidence. This is not necessarily to say critics are always right, far from it. There is a possibility they are right, and because they see you from a different perspective, you should hear them out.^{[3]
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- Having a growth mindset, as opposed to a fixed mindset, will definitely help you understand that hearing criticism doesn't mean you're not a good person. There's more than just "good" and "bad" and we can all evolve.

5

Treat commitments seriously.

Overconfidence can cause you to over commit yourself. When you tell someone you will do something, be realistic in how much effort and time it will take. Promising to help paint a buddy's car, even though have never done it, may turn into a three day project if you are a victim of your own overconfidence.^{[4]
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6

Take time to look at your failures, or incidences when you did not achieve your own personal goals.

Not only will this help you to shape a realistic measure of your ability, it will help you to focus on skills, strengths, or other qualities that you need to work on.^{[5]
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7

Keep fantasies separate from realities.

We all see superhuman feats and stunts on TV, and movies like Jackass take these to extremes, but these are accomplished by talented, unique individuals who often train all of their lives in their own disciplines. Sure, gymnasts make the parallel bars look easy, you don't know how many gallons of sweat it took to get to that level.

8

Try new sports, activities, or pursuits.

Make a goal, and work your way up to it. If you take an overconfident view of easy success, and you fail, you may become discouraged and give up too soon. Rumor has it, Albert Einstein was lousy in grade school.^{[6]
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9

Remember you are a unique person.

You have your own talents, skills, and goals. Confidence or overconfidence can be a pitfall to be avoided if you mix modesty with your enthusiasm.

Expert Q&A

Question

What's wrong with overconfidence?

Seth Hall
Life Coach
Seth Hall is a Life Coach and the Founder of Transformational Solutions, a Los-Angeles based life-coaching company. He specializes in working with groups and individuals to build healthy habits and behaviors that lead to a prosperous lifestyle. He is also the co-author of The Mountain Method and The Mountain Method: Children’s Edition. Seth is a Certified Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming through the iNLP Center.

Seth Hall

Life Coach

Expert Answer

Overconfidence is akin to arrogance. It is almost like competence at the expense of other people and it doesn't really make you attain real happiness because it doesn't foster healthy relationships.