This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman and by wikiHow staff writer, Nihal Shetty. Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
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Getting a girl to invest in you over text is an art. If you’re trying to get a girl to fall for you over text, you’re probably wondering what the best approach is to win her over. Luckily, we’ve got you covered. We’ve put together a guide on how to get a girl to invest over text, so that you can get that initial spark to grow into something more.
Steps
Ask about her interests.
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This makes chatting easier and encourages her to open up.[1] X Expert Source
Cher Gopman
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. Most people relish the opportunity to talk about their interests—it gives them a chance to express themselves and what’s important to them. Be sure to ask follow-up questions to show that you're truly interested in getting to know her better.- You might ask her, "What are you studying at school?" Then, a good follow-up response would be: “Wow, so you study econ? You must be smart—what got you into it?”
Be upbeat and positive.
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Upbeat conversations are more engaging. Keep your conversation topics positive—if you’ve been running into work or family problems, try to keep the details to yourself.[2] X Expert Source
Cher Gopman
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. If she opens up to you about any problems she’s facing, be supportive, kind, and positive. You might say:[3] X Research source- “I’m sorry you’ve been going through that. You seem like a really wonderful person, and I’m sure you deserve better.”
Show her you’re active and independent.
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Living a full life is more attractive than anything. Take trips to interesting places, get involved with local activities, and send her cool pics of your adventures. Show her that you’re living a full and active life; she may starting thinking that she wants to share it with you.
- Send her a picture of a cool place you’re visiting without a caption to pique her interest. When she asks where you are, use it as an excuse to start a conversation.
Make her laugh.
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Humor is the key to the heart. You don’t have to throw a bunch of cheesy jokes her way, but keep your messages lighthearted and fun. Ideally, you’ll be able to come up with an inside joke or two over time, which will bring you closer together.[4] X Research source
- For example, if she’s upset about something her boss said at work, make her laugh by saying something like, “I’ll get started on making the voodoo doll right away.”
Keep your messages interesting.
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A good message is one that makes her feel special. An occasional ‘good morning’ or ‘how are you?’ text doesn’t hurt, but when you send her a message, try to make it one that’s interesting and relevant to her.[5] X Expert Source
Cher Gopman
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.- For example, if she’s really into a certain TV show, watch a couple of episodes and let her know what you think.
- You might say, “Hey, I saw this and it reminded me of something you said the other day,” along with a meme or article link.
Match her texting energy.
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She'll feel more comfortable and in sync with you.[6] X Research source If she instantly responds to you, then you can shoot her back a message immediately if you’d like. If she takes a bit more time to respond, try to text her back at the same level of frequency.[7] X Expert Source
Cher Gopman
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.- Messaging too often can make you seem overeager. When you send a message to her, forget about it and go do something else for a while.
Be a little mysterious.
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Avoid telling her everything about yourself right away.[8] X Expert Source
Cher Gopman
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 17 May 2019. It's okay to keep your cards a little close to the chest. It'll give you more to talk about when you're hanging out in person. Plus, a little bit of mystery is attractive.- Studies show that when people aren’t sure how much someone else likes them, they think about them more often. This can lead to feelings of attraction.[9] X Trustworthy Source Association for Psychological Science Nonprofit organization devoted promoting trustworthy research and education in the psychological sciences Go to source
Gauge her interest with a few flirty texts.
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Make your romantic intentions clear to get a date. Once you've gotten to know her pretty well, give her a sign that you want to be more than just friends. Depending on her response, you can figure out how much she likes you. If she flirts back, she’s probably into you! Say something like:
- “By the way, you’re really cute.”
- “How’s your day been so far, sexy?”
- “I’d like to play it cool but I can’t lie—you’re completely gorgeous.”
Ask her to meet up in person.
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Remember that the goal of texting is to get a date. After you start texting, try to have an in-person date within a couple of weeks. Studies show that people who spend too long texting before meeting don't hit it off as well in person.[10] X Research source
- When the time feels right to you, send her a simple message: “What are you up to Friday night?”
- If you’ve figured out through texting that you really aren’t compatible, that’s okay. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
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References
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.theglobeandmail.com/report-on-business/careers/workplace-award/why-its-positive-to-be-a-positive-person/article38289729/
- ↑ https://www.in-mind.org/article/a-funny-thing-happened-on-the-way-to-romance-how-humor-influences-romantic-relationship
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
- ↑ https://nautil.us/shell-text-me-shell-text-me-not-4244/
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not-women-are-more-attracted-to-men-whose-feelings-are-unclear.html
- ↑ https://www3.nd.edu/~ghaeffel/OnineDating_Aron.pdf
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview.17 May 2019.
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