How to Get a Guy Who Has a Girlfriend

Co-authored by Nicole Moore

Last Updated: December 7, 2022 References

Have you fallen for a guy who already has a girlfriend? Can you just not get this guy out of your head because you have to be with him? If you're set on this guy, then there are a few strategies you can use to try to get the guy.

Things You Should Know

Show him what a great friend you are. Listen, be supportive, get to know his friends, and engage in meaningful conversations with him.
Attract him by wearing flattering clothes and accentuating your natural beauty. Be confident and find little ways to touch him.
Catch his eye, but also accept attention from other guys to prove how desirable you are. Give him time to break up with his girlfriend before openly making a move.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Getting to Know Him Better

1
Become friends with him. The first thing you have to do to try to get this guy to like you is to establish contact with him. if you become friends you have a higher chance to be his girlfriend. Ask him for help on your homework or a work item, advice on something, or to borrow something. Just come up with a good way to make contact. Whatever the reason, go up and talk to him!
- Use this initial interaction to start getting to know him and becoming friends. Are you both taking the same history class? Do you work in the same office? Find ways to talk to him, ask him questions, and get to know him.
- Be sure when you ask him for something to make it something where he will be helping you, but also something he won't have to go out of his way to do. If it's a major inconvenience for him, he may say no.
2
Listen to him. As you get to know him, let him do the talking. A lot of girls can dominate the conversation, so instead of doing that, let him do the talking. Show him how much you enjoy listening to him. Build and foster the platonic aspects of the relationship.
- Ask him questions about himself. This serves two purposes: you are able to find out more about him while remaining interested in him.
- Paying attention to him helps fuel his ego by putting him at the center of attention. This can help him start to view you as someone he wants to be around.
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3
Be emotionally supportive. As your friendship develops, be there for him. This means listening and sympathizing when he gets a bad grade on a paper, a bad evaluation at work, or has a bad day. Be ready to listen to him talk about all his problems, especially relationship problems.
- Let him know you are there to listen to him anytime he needs it. Show him you are dependable and someone he can rely on.
4
Have serious conversations with him. As you build your relationship, move from light conversations to more serious topics. Show him how smart you are through these conversations. Men are attracted to women who are intelligent and have something worthwhile to say.
- Try talking about books. This is a good, neutral way to get into deep conversations. Movies, TV shows, and music also provide great conversation starters.
- Talk about current events. Politics and religion can be touchy categories, but there are plenty of things on the news or that you've read online that can showcase your intelligence.
- If you're into history, start a conversation by telling him something you recently read about the Middle Ages. If you're into science, tell him about the documentary on sharks you watched the night before.^{[1]
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5
Text him. If you get to the point where you've exchanged numbers, use texting as a platform to flirt. Send funny texts about things that happen, complain about homework or work, or comment on the new movie you just saw. Using texts to showcase the fun things you do in your life helps him see how interesting you are.^{[2]
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- This is a good way to start gauging his interest level in you. Does he respond to your texts? Or does he ignore them? If he ignores them, you might not have a chance.
6
Get to know his friends. One way to get closer to the guy and start to win his attention is to become friends with his friends. Get on their good side. Flirt with them so that he sees it. You want to make a good impression with his friends so that they will talk positively about you if you're mentioned or you walk by.
- Don't be sleazy with his friends. You don't want him to think you are interested in his friends. You want to keep it light and fun when you flirt with them.
- Men are competitive creatures who are always vying to be the Alpha male. Being friends with his friends will please him because his buddies like you, but it may also make him jealous, which may result in him trying to steal your attention from them.^{[3]
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Arrange an outing with him. Spend some time with him away from work, school, and other people. This can be the two of you catching a game or a movie. Try suggesting coffee after class or going for lunch during your lunch hour. You can also suggest a study date at the library or one of your houses. You want to get the two of you together and alone.
8
Wait and see what happens. If you don't feel like intentionally breaking up your crush and his girlfriend, then remain friends with him. Build that friendship, get to know him, and enjoy his company. This keeps you on his good side, so if he ever breaks up with the girlfriend, you are in a great position to get him.
- Just remember that if you want to stay friends, that you actually stay friends. Don't pretend to be friends and still try to break them up. Be genuine with him.
- If you're going to just stay friends with him, then don't wait on him. Meet new people, find other guys you might like, and date. You don't want to be pathetic by waiting around and pining for him.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Attracting Him

1
Dress to impress. Whenever you're around him, wear your best outfits. Dress in your most flattering clothes and get yourself feeling sexy. He'll begin to see you in a different light.
- Wearing your best outfits doesn't mean wearing skimpy tops and short skirts. Your best outfit could be a pair of great fitting jeans, boots, and a t-shirt. It might be leggings, an oversized sweater, and a scarf. It might be a cute sundress and sandals. Not only do you want to look your best to impress him, but you also want to feel your best.
2
Accentuate your natural beauty. Don't try to go over the top to attract the guy. You don't want to wear too much makeup or dress like you're going to a formal event or a club. Use your natural beauty to attract him. Subtle will work better than being obvious.
- Get a haircut or try a new hairstyle. Start wearing makeup. Get a facial, paint your nails, get a pedicure, or get your eyebrows waxed.
- He won't know that you've gotten your hair cut or started wearing a different shade of lip gloss, but he will notice that something is different and pleasing. This helps catch his attention, even if he's not sure what exactly has changed.^{[4]
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3
Be confident. This is one of the most important tips for attracting a guy. Sexiness isn't necessarily how you dress or how pretty you may or may not be. Confidence is sexy and attractive. Whenever you're around him, dress in clothes that make you feel great, and then project confidence. This confidence will read as sexiness. That is more helpful than the tightest outfit or perfect hair.^{[5]
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- It is especially important to be confident when you are around him and his girlfriend. Don't let the fact that he's not with you destroy your confidence. Instead, hold your head up high and show him what he's missing. If the girlfriend sees him staring at you, it might cause some problems with them that would work to your benefit.
- Don't be someone who is just there, pining after him, and waiting around for him. You are an awesome person with a full life, friends, family, interests, and other activities. Being yourself is sexy and confident, and remembering that you and your life is fabulous helps you be desirable.^{[6]
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4
Catch his eye. One of the ways to let out that there is some attraction is to let him catch you staring at him. Don't be overt or creepy; be coy. Smile shyly at him before glancing away quickly. This helps him notice you. You want him to start thinking about you.
- After a week of doing this, stop. You want to keep playing coy and be hard to get. Make him miss your stares and your smiles.^{[7]
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- Find reasons to walk by his desk. Think of a reason to call him. Do these things sparingly. You want to make him interested and then pull back. Don't make yourself too available to him. You want to tease him and then make him want to see you more.
5
Become what he wants. If you're friends with the guy, find out what he likes in a girl. More importantly, find out what he doesn't like in girls, especially in his girlfriend. Whatever quality he mentions he resents in her, become the opposite. You want to attract him by sharing interests and representing the things that he wants in a woman.
- Does he think she shops too much? Tell him you hate shopping. Is he upset she doesn't like him watching football? Ask him to come to a game with you. Does he think she's too uptight? Engage in childlike pranks with him.
- Don't change yourself too much because he should always like you for who you are. If he is going to leave his girlfriend for you, he should be leaving her for a good reason rather than for a false personality.
6
Touch him. Find ways to touch him in subtle, light ways. Don't throw yourself all over him; keep it coy and fun. Be flirty. The touches should be simple and not cross any personal boundaries.
- When he says something funny, gently touch his arm or leg as you laugh. Touch his shoulder or back when you greet him.^{[8]
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- Try putting him into the protective role when you touch him. Use him to hold on to as you adjust the strap of your shoe.^{[9]
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7
Find another guy. Don't ignore other guys as you work up to getting your man. Dating other guys shows the guy you're interested in that you are attractive and desirable to other people. As he is beginning to see you in a new way, this will make him jealous.
- Make sure he knows that you are dating this new guy. Mention the new guy when you are around him. Bring the guy to group outings so he can see the two of you together.
- Don't go overboard with displays of affection. Make sure you act interested in the guy you are dating, but don't be overly sexual or affectionate. You want to make him jealous, not turn him off or push him away.
- Dating other guys also gives you the opportunity to meet new guys. One of these guys might be better than the guy you're trying to win - and the best part? He's single and already into you.
8
Give him time to break up with his girlfriend. Give the guy space to figure out his feelings, clear his head, and make important decisions. Breaking up with his girlfriend is a huge decision for him. Don't rush him, don't crowd him, and let it happen as he needs it to. If he does have feelings for you, give him time to break it off with her. If you rush or crowd him, it could sabotage everything for you.^{[10]
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- Don't give in until he's broken things off with his girlfriend. If he keeps telling you he'll do it soon but never does, you're getting played.

Community Q&A

Question

How can I increase my confidence fast to impress him?

Nicole Moore
Love & Relationship Coach
Nicole Moore is a Love and Relationship Coach and the Founder and CEO of Love Works Method, a private coaching and digital course service for women looking to find the right partner. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in body language and helping others take control of their dating life, attract a partner, and build a strong relationship. Nicole has been featured in numerous publications such as Cosmopolitan, Forbes, and USA Today. She also hosts Love Works with Nicole Moore, a podcast for modern women wanting love, dating, and relationship advice. Nicole holds a BA in Public Relations and Spanish from Syracuse University and a Certificate in Personal Coaching from New York University.

Nicole Moore

Love & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Write a list of at least ten things that are amazing about you. Think about what’s great about your personality, how you treat people and what your unique talents are. The more you focus on what’s good about you, the more confident you will feel.
Question

What if a guy flirts with me but he already has a girlfriend?

Community Answer

If he only did it once, it may have been unintentional. But if he continues to do it, try to confront him about it -- ask him how he feels. Maybe he and his girlfriend are on the verge of breaking up.

Warnings

Remember that if a guy is willing to dump his girl to be with you, he's very capable of dumping you to be with the next interested chick who comes along. Guys whose heads can be easily turned are not worth the effort.

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Helpful 728 Not Helpful 75
If you do get him away from his girlfriend, he may still have feelings for the other girl. Remember, it may not last long because you could just be a rebound.

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Helpful 383 Not Helpful 69
If you guys are friends, or even best friends, it could potentially ruin your friendship. Be careful!

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Helpful 440 Not Helpful 83
If he loves his girlfriend, these tips will not work. There needs to be an initial attraction between you for a successful catch.

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Helpful 371 Not Helpful 78
If his current girlfriend was "your" friend, and she liked dating him, you risk losing their friendship because of your actions.

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Helpful 196 Not Helpful 51
This can be considered morally wrong to do to someone.

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