How to Get a Guy to Call You Back

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: October 12, 2022 References

Waiting by the phone for a guy to call you is no fun, especially when all you’ve ever done before is text back and forth. Who can blame you? You put yourself out there, and now you’re expecting a call in return. Fear no more! Here are some tips for how to get a guy to call you back.

1

Leave a voicemail.

You can even practice ahead of time. Keep it between 30-60 seconds, if you can. You can even write down some of what you want to say on sticky notes so you don’t freeze when you hear the beep. Just remember to keep it light and casual, and let him know you’re looking forward to hearing from him.^{[1]
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- “Hey, I had a great time the other night! Hope we can do it again really soon. Give me a call back when you get this!”
- “Hey, it’s me! Just wanted to see what you were up to this weekend. Call me when you get a chance!”
- “Hi! Just wanted to hear your voice. I’ll be around later, if you want to give me a call then?”

2

Avoid rambling.

Call with a purpose in mind. Start with a little bit of small talk by asking him how he’s doing, and then launch right into why you’re calling. For example, maybe you’re calling to plan your next date with him, or you wanted to know how his presentation went at work. Setting expectations will make calling you back a lot less intimidating.^{[2]
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- “I just wanted to call and see if you were free to grab dinner sometime this week.”
- “I have an extra ticket for a concert on Saturday, and I was wondering if you were free!”
- “I have to get going, but I loved talking to you!”

3

Give him a time to call.

Sneak this in casually at the end of a conversation. Maybe he wants to call, but he’s afraid you’ll be busy or that he’ll interrupt you while you’re out friends. Instead, before saying goodbye, let him know you’re waiting to hear from him.^{[3]
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- “I’ll be with my family this afternoon, but call me later? Maybe around 7?”
- “I loved chatting today. Feel free to call me sometime this week!”
- "I'll be around all weekend. Call me whenever!"

4

Keep your calls brief.

If he picks up, limit the call to about 20 minutes or less. When you’re with someone in person, it’s easy to lose yourself in a conversation, but more often than not, it’s a completely different situation over the phone. He might be putting off calling you back because he feels like he just doesn’t have enough time, so keep it quick.^{[4]
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- “My phone is about to die, and I don’t want you to get cut off! I have to go find a charger, but call me again tomorrow?”
- “It was really nice to catch up. I have to head out soon, but I’d love to do this again this weekend, if you’re free!”

5

Tell him you’re happy he called.

He might just need a bit of reassurance. Maybe he took so long to respond because he’s a bit shy. Let him know you appreciate hearing from him! It’ll make him feel even more encouraged to pick up the phone next time.^{[5]
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- “I’m so happy you called.”
- “I was just thinking about you! I really appreciate you taking the time to call.”
- “Thanks for getting back to me!”

6

Reach out via social media.

This could be as simple as liking one of his photos on Instagram. Maybe he saw your call, got super busy, and forgot to give you a call back. Seeing a notification from you might just be the subtle reminder he needs to reach out.^{[6]
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Trustworthy Source
Pew Research Center
Nonpartisan thinktank conducting research and providing information on public opinion, demographic trends, and social trends
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7

Make it clear you’re interested.

It’s okay to let him know you’re crushing! So, don’t be afraid to flirt. You don’t want him to go home later and pick up the phone only to put it down because he’s unsure about how you’re feeling. Make sure your body language is open, which means smiling, uncrossing your arms, and keeping your shoulders back.^{[7]
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- Sit close to him when you’re out together, gently touch his shoulder when you’re telling him a story or reach across the table to touch his hand.

8

Ask him questions.

It’ll make him want to pick up where you left off later on. You can either do this over text or the next time you meet up, but the goal is to learn more about him, and eventually, for him to learn more about you. If you have easy, flowing in-person conversations, he’ll have no reason to think your phone conversations will be any different.^{[8]
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- “What did you want to be when you were a kid?”
- “Where did you grow up?”
- “What are you passionate about?”

9

Tell him about yourself.

Share your interests and hobbies. Learning these key parts of your personality can build chemistry between you two. Tell him about your values, what’s important to you, and what you're passionate about. You may even find you have a lot in common. He may be holding off on calling because he doesn’t know you well enough and is afraid it’ll be awkward. So, fill him in!^{[9]
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10

Make eye contact when you're together.

This is the key to flirting! It may even feel weird at first, but it'll let him know you're interested. Steal glances from across the room if you see each other at a party or meet his eyes when you're having a conversation. This may help him feel a bit more confident to pursue the relationship.^{[10]
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- If possible, try to avoid looking at your phone when you’re talking to each other! It might give him the impression that you’d rather be somewhere else.

11

Be patient.

What’s meant to be will be. If he’s not calling you back, it’s likely not because of anything you did. He might be busy with work or school or has trouble checking his phone consistently. Maybe he's introverted and scared to make that first move. Whatever the reason, try to focus on yourself! This may just teach you more about what you want and need out of the relationships in your life, and most importantly, what you deserve.^{[11]
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Go Ask Alice
Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University
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