How to Get a Teenage Guy to Miss You

Co-authored by Laura Bilotta and Eric McClure

Last Updated: May 28, 2022 References

If there’s a cute boy in your life you want to captivate and drive crazy just by you not being there, it may be easier than you might think. In fact, there are a ton of tiny things you can do to really rev him up so that he can’t stop thinking about you. If you want him to wish you were there right now, we’re here to help you out with some simple tips on how you can get him to miss you even more than he already does.

This article is based on an interview with our international dating coach and matchmaker, Laura Bilotta, founder of Single in the City. Check out the full interview here.

1

Don’t text or call for a bit.

It sounds strange, but it’s hard to miss someone without space. If the two of you have been talking regularly, take a break. He’s more likely to miss you if he has enough time to actually feel like you aren’t there. Just chill out with the phone calls and texts, and give it a few days before you reach out to talk to him.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.}
- Letting him contact you first is ideal, but if he doesn’t contact you, shoot him a text after a few days have passed.
- If he reaches out, don’t ignore him. It’s a good idea to take a little bit of time to respond, though! If you’re less active on the phone, he’ll be more likely to miss you.

2

Spend some time apart.

If you’ve been seeing each other every day, spend a few days being “busy.” Take a break to go do something else for a little while. Go see friends, spend a night with your family, or just take a night off to do some binge-watching on Netflix. Let him know you’re busy, keep your phone on silent, and just let him spend the night missing you.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.}
- If the two of you go to the same school and you normally eat lunch or spend your study period together, spend a few days hanging out with your friends in a separate area instead.

3

Do interesting things in your spare time.

If you’re having fun without him, he’ll wish he was with you. Take a group selfie with your friends and post it on social media. Send him a Snapchat showing him the theme park you’re visiting with your family. Go do something fun every week without him, and let him know that you’re up to something interesting.^{[3]
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Research source}
- It can be hard to spend to enough time with your friends when you’re dating a guy. Look at this as an opportunity to catch up on some quality time with your pals!

4

Be a little mysterious at first.

Make him work a bit to learn intimate details about you. If it’s early in the relationship, don’t open up about every single experience you’ve ever had. Let him work for it a bit, and don’t volunteer super personal info. This will keep his imagination active, and he’ll be more likely to think about you when the two of you aren’t hanging out or talking.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- If he does try to pry, be a little sly and flirty about it. You might say, “Well, wouldn’t you like to know!” or, “You’re going to have to work a bit harder than that to learn more.”

5

Keep your conversations short.

When you aren’t together, keep your texts and calls on the shorter side. If the two of you talk for hours at a time when you aren’t physically together, it can make it feel like you aren’t actually gone. Don’t chat or text for super long. Also, end the conversation first before he has the opportunity to do so. This is a great way to make sure you stay on his mind.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Laura Bilotta
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 26 February 2020.}
- Just end the conversations with something like, “Oh no, a friend just showed up. I have to go. I’ll ttyl!” or, “Hold on, I’m getting another call. I’ll hit you back later.”

6

Surprise him.

If you’re a little unpredictable, he’ll be more likely to think about you. If you always know what you’re going to get, you may not be all that excited about it. Take him on a random adventure, shoot him a text at an unexpected time, or just casually mention an odd hobby you enjoy and watch his jaw drop. Whatever your quirks and oddities are, let them show through over time at unexpected moments.^{[6]
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Research source}
- Most teenage guys know exactly what’s going to happen every day. If you’re always surprising him, he’ll miss that unpredictably when you aren’t around.

7

Flirt in a playful way.

A bit of cute teasing goes a long way when you’re texting. Give him a taste of what he’s missing with a little bit of playful, flirty banter. You can be a little competitive about it, or just hint that he’s missing out on something.^{[7]
X
Research source} As a note, this is probably not the best move if he’s a little shy or sensitive.^{[8]
X
Expert Source

Joshua Pompey
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 27 November 2019.}
- You could say something like, “I bet I’m a way better kisser than you.”
- You might try, “I could really go for some cuddling right now. If only you were here!”
- Something as short as, “Hey cutie,” is a playful option if you want to jumpstart the conversation.
- A fun emoji or little winky face can go a long way here.

8

Give him a pet name.

A cute nickname can really make a guy go crazy. Try to naturally work a pet name into your conversation and keep using it in regular intervals. Want him to miss you? Work it into your text convo or phone call. A personalized pet name is a reminder that he’s special to you, and he’s going to miss you like crazy if he hears it.^{[9]
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Research source}
- Potential pet names might include, “Casanova,” “Darling,” “Cutie-pie,” “Sweetheart,” and, “Handsome.”

9

Send him a pic unexpectedly.

A random, cute selfie can really remind him of what he’s missing. Got an especially cute outfit on? Snap a flattering pic and send it to him. If you’re at home, lay down and take a hot selfie that shows off your best features.^{[10]
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Research source} A personalized photo of yourself will serve as a visual reminder of what he’s missing out on!
- Hold off on the nude photos. If you’re under 18, it’s probably a crime depending on where you live.^{[11]
  X
  Research source} But even if it isn’t, just hold off for now—you may regret it one day if he isn’t that special someone.

10

Reference a romantic memory.

Remembering good times can really make him miss you! Remind him of your memories together. Whether it was a first date or first kiss, or something fun the two of you did recently, casually mention it to bring that memory up in his mind. The memory of that fond experience will have him missing you immediately.^{[12]
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- You could say, “I saw your post on Instagram. That outfit is really cute—it reminds me of the shirt you wore on our first date.”
- You can try something like, “I had a dream last night about that time we saw that bad vampire movie and made out the whole time. Remember that? We should see another movie sometime :)”

11

Leave something of yours at his place.

The next time you’re at his place, “accidentally” leave something behind. You could leave some lip gloss, clothing, or cheap jewelry behind. Whatever the item is, he’ll find it and be instantly reminded of you. A little memento of that is a great way to make him miss you!^{[13]
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Research source}
- For an added effect, spray whatever you’re leaving behind with a little bit of your perfume or cologne. The smell will really remind him of you!^{[14]
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  Trustworthy Source
  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}

Warnings

If you’re dating this guy and things are going really well, trying to trick him into missing you is likely not something you should spend your time doing. There’s just no need to pull the games out at this point, and if you change your behavior to try and get him to miss you, it may just make him suspicious that you’re up to something.^{[15]
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