How to Get over Having Missed Your Prom

Co-authored by Fernando Campos and Eric McClure

Last Updated: December 12, 2022 References

Missing prom doesn’t have to be the end of the world. It helps to realize that prom is simply a regular high school dance with an expensive price tag attached, and that movies and television shows tend to overblow the importance and fun of prom night. Regardless, you’re probably still going to have some bad feelings about missing prom. Finding a way to feel better can be easy. All you have to do is distract yourself on prom night, replace negative feelings with things you enjoy, and find a way to look at the big picture.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Distracting Yourself on Prom Night

1
Hang out with other students who aren’t going to the dance. You will undoubtedly have classmates who aren’t going to prom either. If you have any classmates you’re friends with who happen to also be skipping the event, ask them if they want to hang out on prom night. You’ll feel a lot better knowing that you aren’t alone, and doing something social will keep you from feeling like you’re missing out.^{[1]
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- Consider throwing your own anti-prom party! Invite a bunch of classmates who aren’t going to prom over for pizza, games, and fun. That way, you can turn missing out into an opportunity to get to know some classmates you aren’t already friends with.
2
Hang out with your family if all your friends are out at prom. If you don’t have any friends that are skipping the dance and you think you’ll just get bummed out being around classmates, ask your family to hang out with you on prom night. Hanging out with your family is not only healthy, but it will keep your mind off of the kids at your school. Besides, your family is probably going to do their best to cheer you up!^{[2]
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- Play some board games or go out for a fun family dinner! Your parents will appreciate you going out of your way to spend time with them, especially if you’re going away to college in a few months.
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3
Watch a movie, read a book, or play some video games. If being around people sounds like it will bum you out, engage your mind on prom night to stay focused on something else. Watching a movie or reading a book is a great way to fill your time, and missing prom night may be a good opportunity to catch up on a couple of chapters or finally see that movie you wanted to watch. Video games are a great way to distract yourself because they force you to shift your attention towards the game.^{[3]
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Research source} Do not watch any movies or TV shows or read books that are related to the prom or romantic relationships as the main focus of the story or show

Tip: If you’re going to watch a movie, consider going out to the theater to see it on the big screen. Getting out of the house will keep you from loafing around your home and feeling bad about it.
4
Get physical by playing some sports or working out. Get active to keep your body moving and your mind clear. It’s hard to picture everyone else having fun if you’re running around a basketball court or playing some late-night catch and enjoying yourself. If you’re doing something alone, add another layer of distraction by throwing some headphones in. Music will improve your mood while you work out or play.^{[4]
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- Running and biking are simple activities that you can easily perform at night that don’t require a park.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Coping with Negative Feelings

1
Do something that you enjoy every day to avoid feeling sorry for yourself. It’s going to be easy to get down about missing prom if you don’t have anything to look forward to. Commit to engaging in your favorite hobby every day after school or work for the next couple of weeks. Even when you don’t want to do it, set a goal to do something fun every day. Whether it’s video games, basketball, art, or card games, you’re going to feel better if you have something to look forward to.^{[5]
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- If you don’t have any hobbies that excite you, now is the perfect time to pick a new one up! Ask your family or friends for suggestions by seeing what they like to do in their spare time.
2
Stay off of social media and avoid looking at your phone. Turn notifications off and uninstall Instagram and Facebook, at least for the time being. There are going to be a lot of photos and status updates related to prom, and seeing that stuff will make you feel like you really missed out. Avoid spending too much time online to ensure that you don’t get bogged down by other people’s experiences.^{[6]
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Tip: If you do stumble on social media, remind yourself that it’s curated. People aren’t always as happy as they make it seem like they are when they post things online.
3
Make a list of things that you’re thankful for. It may sound silly, but making a list of things you enjoy is actually a really simple way to boost your self-esteem. Gratitude will make you happier, and feeling good about what you do have, instead of feeling sorry about what you’re missing, is an excellent way to bring yourself back from a bad mood.^{[7]
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- If you’re out and about and can’t sit down to make a list, make one in your head or say it out loud. Simply listing things that you appreciate will lift your mood.
- You don’t need to focus on big things to be appreciative! Popping bubble wrap, the smell of grass after it rains, and a new pair of shoes are all cause for celebration.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Looking at the Big Picture

1
Realize that prom probably isn’t as great as it sounds. Prom can be expensive, awkward, and generally blown out of proportion. Movies, shows, and books make prom look cooler and more important than it often is. When you think about it, it’s really just a high school dance where you have to spend money on a limousine and fancy outfit. Even if people have fun at prom, realize that the event is usually blown out of proportion.^{[8]
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- You’re going to have a lot of major events to look forward to. As you get older, going to college, falling in love, getting a new job, and moving out of your family’s house are all exciting milestones that you’ll be able to look forward to.
2
Spend the money you would have spent on prom on something better. Between car rentals, fancy dresses, tuxedo rentals, tickets, and flowers, going to prom typically costs several hundred dollars. Since you saved yourself the money, put it towards something better! Put a couple of hundred dollars away for a car, spend it on a road trip with your friends, or use it to buy a new video game system or phone.^{[9]
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- You’ll be happy that you got to put the money towards something you wouldn’t have been able to buy otherwise. This will make missing prom feel like a good thing.
Tip: Concerts are a good replacement for prom night if you don’t want to miss out on the dancing and music! Use the money to go see an artist that you enjoy.
3
Talk to your parents or teachers about their prom to get some more perspective. If it’s really eating away at you, ask your parents or teachers about their experiences at prom. You’ll realize that most people don’t hold on to memories of prom because they aren’t that important in the big scheme of things. Even if they did enjoy their prom, ask them about how they often they think about it. The odds are good that they don’t spend every day thinking about a dance, and you shouldn’t either.^{[10]
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- As an adult, you’re going to remember your first day of college, your wedding, your first adult job, and the birth of your children. Few people hold on to memories of awkward dances and expensive tux rentals.

Community Q&A

Question

Will the fact that I never went to prom hurt my future dating, partner, and marriage prospects?

Community Answer

No, of course not! It's just your high school prom; whoever you meet after that most likely won't care whether or not you went to prom.
Question

How can I go to a dance if I am grounded?

Hissaloto

Community Answer

If you are grounded when there is a big event going on, perhaps ask your parents to lift the punishment for the event. Remind them how this is a once in a lifetime opportunity, and remind them about their own memories of dances.
Question

What is the point of being alive if I never went to prom, don't have any prom pictures to show, everyone hates me for it, and I can't do anything fun similar to it?

Hissaloto

Community Answer

There is always a point in living. If you are feeling suicidal, please call a suicide hotline (1-800-273-8255), or get some help from someone you trust. Prom is supposed to be a final hurrah with all your friends and classmates from high school before heading off to college where you'll make new friends. Consider hosting a fun get together with your high school friends, or go to a dance hosted by your college.