How to Keep Your Man from Cheating

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: May 25, 2021 References

Many people worry that their boyfriends or husbands might cheat on them. When you have a great boyfriend or husband whom you love, worrying about losing him is completely normal and natural. Ultimately, you cannot control what other people do. However, there are some things you can do to make sure that your relationship is the best it can possibly be, such as by showing more appreciation for what he does and who he is, being more affectionate with him, and getting to know his friends a little better.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Making Him Feel Emotionally Fulfilled

1
Appreciate him. Compliment him frequently on the things you like about him. When he does something kind of special for you, acknowledge that you appreciate him. Be positive and encouraging of your man’s goals. Being positive and loving is important for maintaining a successful relationship.^{[1]
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- For example, you can give him a small unexpected gift or send him a random, loving text. Something simple like this will let him know that you appreciate him.
2
Show an interest in his life. Showing an interest in your man's life can also help to deepen your emotional bond with him. Ask him about his job, his friends, and his family. Ask genuine questions, not snooping ones. Cultivate a habit of sharing things with one another. It will help you express more feelings and desires in your relationship.^{[2]
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- For example, ask him, “How did your presentation at work go? I know you were working really hard on it!”
- Do not ask about where he was and who he was with every time he goes out. These kinds of questions seem more like an interrogation.
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3
Assume the best of him. Give your partner the benefit of the doubt, and assume that he is trying to be the best boyfriend or husband he can be. Assuming that he’s cheating on you will hurt your relationship because your suspicions will undermine the trust you’ve worked hard to build. Try to trust him, even if you are concerned.^{[3]
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4
Keep things fun. Happy couples are often light and playful with one another. Make it a priority to laugh it off more. Go see a silly movie with your man, or tell him something about him that makes you smile.^{[4]
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- Part of lightening up is not smothering your man. Don’t ask him where he is all the time or demand to know how he spent every minute of his day. Even if you feel insecure about your relationship, lightening up will benefit your relationship and show him that you trust him.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Expressing Affection

1
Be affectionate in small, flirty ways. Hold your guy’s hand in public. Give him a hug or a little kiss when no one is looking. Let him know you’re thinking about him even if the two of you are out with friends. Small gestures of flirtiness and affection can go a long way in a relationship.
2
Spend quality time together. Make time for just the two of you. Date nights and quality time may improve your current relationship.^{[5]
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Research source} Try taking some time away from your cell phone and focus only on your time with your boyfriend or husband.
- Try going to a new location, such as a beach a couple of hours away from your house or a restaurant you’ve never been to before. Sharing new experiences together will strengthen your bond further.
3
Have a fulfilling, exciting sex life. Don’t be afraid to try something new or spontaneous. Take advantage of spontaneity when you have the chance.^{[6]
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Research source} Express your desires to your man, and encourage him to express his to you.
- Keep in mind that good sex with you will not prevent your man from cheating. Most men cheat because of emotional reasons rather than sexual ones.^{[7]
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  Research source} However, having a good sex life can increase your connection and communication with one another.
4
Try not to be clingy. Clinginess demonstrates insecurity and can be irritating to some people. If you tend to seek your man's approval, text him constantly throughout the day, or drop your other plans to spend time with him, then this might be considered clingy behavior.^{[8]
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Research source} Try to work on enjoying your alone time and become more independent.
- For example, you might take yourself on a date once per week, or use your alone time to work on something you are passionate about, such as writing poetry, painting, or playing video games.
- You might also try imagining what a confident woman would do in your shoes.^{[9]
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  Research source} For example, would she text her boyfriend all day because she is lonely, or would she get out and do something fun?

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Strengthening Your Relationship in Other Ways

1
Work on yourself. Do things you love and work towards your individual goals. Take time for yourself to read, take a walk, or exercise. If you are someone you want to spend time with, your boyfriend or husband will want to spend time with you, too.^{[10]
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- Explore your own insecurities. Why are you concerned about your man cheating on you? Has it happened to you in a previous relationship? Taking time to develop yourself may increase your own self-confidence and decrease your insecurities about your relationship.
2
Talk about your love languages. Dr. Gary Chapman’s theory of love languages dictates that there are five different love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.^{[11]
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Research source} Take the online quiz to see what you and your partner’s love languages are. You do not necessarily have to have the same love languages, but you should work on “speaking” your partner’s love languages.
- For example, if your man’s primary love language is quality time, then work to spend some quality time with him. Put away your cell phones and cook dinner together, or designate a date night every week where just the two of you spend time together.
3
Get to know his friends. If your boyfriend or husband is not spending time with you, he’s most likely spending time with his friends. If his friends know you and like you, they will probably take him out of potentially risky situations where your boyfriend might feel pressure to talk to other girls or be unfaithful. They also will like you, respect you, and honor your relationship with your boyfriend or husband.^{[12]
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Address any recent changes in your relationship. Does something seem different to you, physically or emotionally?^{[13]
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Research source} Talk to your boyfriend about these issues without accusing him of cheating. You might have an underlying issue in your relationship that you need to talk about. Try saying something like, "It seems like you have been distracted lately. What's going on?" Some potential reasons why your man might withdraw from you might include:
- Suffering from erectile dysfunction. You might have already noticed a problem if this is an issue, but don’t bring this up before your boyfriend does. He could get defensive.
- Dealing with a mental health issue, such as depression or low self-esteem.
- Problems at work.
- Worrying about coming on too strong or seeming clingy.

Warnings

If you suspect that your boyfriend is cheating, talk to him about it.

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Do not feel pressured to have sex. If you are not ready to have sex, do not do it. Many successful relationships function without sex, and you should never be pressured into something that you don’t want to do.

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