How to Know when to Kiss on a Date

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

If you haven't been on too many first dates, you may get caught up in thinking about when the best time to kiss a person is. Don't worry too much. Usually, you'll know when the time is right. If you've spent the date showing your interest and looking for interest in the other person, find a good moment near the end to try for a kiss. Be sure to respect the other person's boundaries before you decide to go in for a kiss.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Showing and Gauging Interest

1
Stare at the person's mouth. While this might seem a little silly, spending some time looking at the person's mouth can indicate you want to kiss them. Of course, you don't want to look at their mouth only, as gazing into their eyes is also romantic. Nonetheless, looking down at various points can help indicate you want to kiss someone.^{[1]
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- You don't have to continuously stare at the person's mouth. Short one to two second glances here and there should do.
2
Touch them gently. That is, as you are talking to them, find ways to touch them. This touch isn't necessarily a intimate touch. Rather, touch their arm or their shoulder as you talk, or move closer to them so your legs are touching. These small touches show you want to get closer.^{[2]
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3
See if they touch you back. As you find ways to gently touch them throughout the date, see if they reciprocate. If they're really interested, they may touch you back. If they pull back, they may not be as interested. Some people don't like to be touched, so you may need to be patient. Wait until the person is ready and seems interested.^{[3]
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4
Compliment the person. Tell the person you like the way they smile or that you find their humor charming. Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves, and when you compliment someone, you're showing them you care.^{[4]
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- Try to give sincere, direct compliments. In other words, really pay attention to the person and figure out what you like about them. That way, you can give a compliment that's specific to the person.
- For instance, saying "You look pretty," is fairly general. Saying, "Your smile is so lovely. It lights up the room," is much more specific.
5
Watch their body language. If the person is biting their lip, they may want to kiss you. Also, watch to see if they're staring at your lips like you've been staring at theirs. That can indicate they want to kiss you, just like you were trying to indicate that to them.^{[5]
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- The other person may also play with their hair, hold your gaze, or even mimic your movements (subconsciously) as a sign they're interested in you.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Finding the Right Moment

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Wait until the end. Generally, if you're going to kiss someone on a date, you'll want to do it at the end. This advice is particularly important if you are on a first date. If you've had the whole date to get to know each other, it won't be as much like kissing a stranger. Usually, a kiss acts as a goodbye.^{[6]
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2
Pick somewhere private, but not too private. Often, people will be shy about kissing in front of other people. That means you want a place that's a bit secluded, such as you or the other person's front porch. However, make sure you don't drag the person off somewhere too private, as that can make the person nervous.^{[7]
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3
Watch for the linger. If someone wants to kiss you but is too shy to ask about it, they'll likely spend some time lingering at the end of the date. That is, when you're about to part ways, the person will hang around even after saying goodbye. This lingering indicates that they likely want to kiss you.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Getting Permission

1
Look the person in the eye. Now that you've found the perfect spot and time, take a moment just to look the person in the eye. Gazing into someone's eyes can be quite intimate, as most people don't spend more than a few seconds looking into someone else's eyes. Hold the person's gaze as you contemplate kissing them.^{[8]
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2
Lean in closer. Leaning in indicates you want to get more intimate. When the right moment comes, lean in closer. Most likely, the person will lean in towards you, too. If the person doesn't want the same thing, they'll likely lean back.^{[9]
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3
Ask if you can kiss them. Consent is important, even when you're trying to kiss someone. Consent just means you have the person's permission to do something like kiss, hold hands, or something even more intimate. Asking if you can kiss someone doesn't need to break the moment. Rather, it shows you respect the person enough to ask.^{[10]
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- You could say, "We've had a great night. Do you mind if I kiss you?" This dialogue is particularly important when someone is shy.
4
Move in for the kiss. Once you get a "yes," you can move in for the kiss. Bring your face in closer, but let the other person come part way. Even if they said yes, it's good to let them make part of the move, so you know for sure they want it. You'll both need to tilt a bit so you don't bump noses, then move on with the kissing part.^{[11]
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- It helps to have your lips slightly parted and soft. If you're too rigid, it won't be a great kiss.
5
Remember rejection may not be about you. That is, the person may like you a lot and may even want to kiss you, even if they turn away. However, the person may not be ready to kiss you yet, so if you're turned away, don't take it too hard, especially if the person seems to want to go on another date.

Community Q&A
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Question

On what date should you first kiss?

Imad Jbara
Dating Coach
Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

Imad Jbara

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

It could be the first date or it could be the fifth date. It really depends on how comfortable you and your partner are. When it comes to the first kiss, it helps to really not overthink it if you've already made it to the dating stage. They already have some interest in you, so try not to dwell too much on it. Just let things develop organically and you'll be fine.