How to Stop Making Things Harder for Yourself

Last Updated: November 19, 2021 References

Many people dwell on the negative rather than the positive. Some folks can’t stop making excuses for themselves in order to justify why they have not met all of their goals. In some cases, people will find it difficult to accomplish tasks because they keep making things harder on themselves. Learning how to stop doing these things can be challenging, but it’s possible! In order to stop making things harder for yourself, you have to be prepared to transform the way you approach your life. Learn to manage your time, acknowledge your weaknesses, and develop self-confidence.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Managing Your Time Effectively

1
Say no to unnecessary requests. People will often say “yes” to requests from coworkers, family members, friends, and partners, even when these requests are time consuming and at times irrational. This is because you do not want to let other people down. By spending valuable time on side tasks, you are distracting yourself from completing your own goals. Sometimes it is best to just say “no.”^{[1]
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- Dividing your time between multiple tasks, some of them unnecessary, makes things harder than they need to be.
- You are also setting yourself up for failure. You will not be able to complete everything you say “yes” to, and as a result, this will distract you from doing the things that are important to your growth and success.
2
Don’t try and be perfect. There is no perfect way to do something. Constantly striving for perfection is one way that people will often make things harder on themselves. Placing unnecessary pressure on yourself to perform tasks perfectly can make things extremely difficult. Instead, you should just focus on completing tasks to the best of your ability. Spending time stressing over perfection is wasteful and will lead to increased anxiety.^{[2]
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- For example, it is better to complete a written draft of a report rather than waste time stressing over a minute detail. You can always make changes during the editing and revising phase.
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3
Trust your instincts. You can make even a simple task, like deciding what to wear, more difficult by constantly second guessing yourself. This becomes even more stressful when you are confronted with a major life decision. Once you have made a decision, whether it was right or wrong, it is best to accept your choice and move forward. Second guessing every decision is a sure what to make things harder than they need to be.^{[3]
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- For instance, you have decided to switch career paths, but constantly second guess this decision.
- Rather than focusing your time and energy on being successful at your new career, you are wasting time dwelling on a past decision.
- Overcoming self-doubt and learning to believe in yourself takes time, but you can learn to be more decisive and self-assured. Working with a therapist is one of the best ways to overcome self-doubt. Using positive self-affirmations and spending time with supportive friends and family can also help you to overcome self-doubt.
4
Allow yourself time for rest. Some people will take on too much, and eventually become burnt out. In order to increase your productivity it is actually a good idea to allow yourself time to relax and engage in activities for yourself. If you tend to make things harder on yourself, you probably don’t allow yourself any free time. By giving yourself time off, you will be able to approach your work with a new found energy.^{[4]
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- For example, engage in leisure activities that you enjoy such as reading, watching T.V. shows or movies, exercising, or spending quality time with friends and family.
- You may also want to try taking a vacation periodically as a way to clear your mind and recharge your batteries.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Admitting Weakness

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Take chances. Many people will miss out on opportunities because they are afraid to fail. For example, people will stay in a dead end job rather than quit and pursue their passion because they don’t want to face the possibility of failure. In order to achieve your potential you need to take risks and put yourself out there. At times you may fail, but that is okay. Many people will make things harder on themselves by avoiding possible failure.^{[5]
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- For example, if you do not apply to a job or submit a piece of your writing you will never have the opportunity to succeed.
- Don’t allow a fear of failure to impact your ability to succeed.
2
Admit that you need help. Sometimes life can be overwhelming. In order to stop making things hard on yourself you should seek out help when you are feeling overwhelmed. Many people will simply pretend that everything is okay, even when they are suffering internally. The reason for this is because they don’t want to admit their own weakness. Asking for help, whether from a friend, colleague, family member, or professional psychologist is actually a sign of strength.^{[6]
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- For example, if you are feeling strapped for time and are struggling to complete all of your daily tasks you could ask a friend or family member to help you out.
- You could ask a friend: “Can you pick my kids up from school today? I need a few more hours at the office in order to complete an assignment.”
3
Accept responsibility. If you want to accomplish your goals, you need to take ownership over your actions. People who make things harder on themselves will always find excuses for their failures or shortcomings. For example, if you fail to complete a task on time, you will make excuses for the reasons why it is late. Instead, when you are completing a task you should ensure that you tackle the most pressing issues first before distracting yourself with other things.^{[7]
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- For example, you may tell your boss that you didn't complete a task because you received a pressing work phone call.
- In reality, however, you didn't finish the task on time because you mismanaged your time and waited to the last minute to finish the assignment.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Developing Self-Confidence

1
Find happiness within yourself. It is common for people to try and find happiness through other people rather than from within themselves. For instance, have you ever caught yourself thinking “I’ll be happy if I find someone to share my life with.” This type of approach makes things much more difficult because you are constantly waiting for happiness to find you. Instead, try thinking about the things within in your own life that make you happy.^{[8]
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- For example, maybe your morning coffee makes you happy everyday, or you find joy in a daily exercise routine.
- These are things that you can control. Life will seem a lot easier if you can find inner gratitude.
2
Set goals.^{[9]
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Expert Source

Tracey Rogers, MA
Certified Life Coach
Expert Interview. 6 January 2020.} Setting even a small goal for yourself can help you to build your confidence. Try starting out with something that you know you can achieve, such as exercising for 30 minutes three times over the course of a week. After you complete your goal, acknowledge the accomplishment and then reward yourself in some way, such as by watching a favorite movie or by buying yourself something small, like a new app for your phone or a new lip balm. Then, increase the difficulty of the goal slightly, such as by setting a goal of exercising for 30 minutes four times over the course of a week.
- Reflecting on things that you have already accomplished can also help you to build up your self-confidence. Try making a list of all of the goals (big and small) that you have accomplished in your lifetime. This could include things like graduating from high school or college, traveling somewhere you have always wanted to go, or shaving 30 seconds off of your mile time.^{[10]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tracey Rogers, MA
  Certified Life Coach
  Expert Interview. 6 January 2020.}
3
Focus on the positives. Many people will make things harder on themselves by always focusing on the worst possible outcomes. Have you ever found yourself thinking: “What if my partner cheats on me?” “What if I lose my job?” “What if I fail this test?” Although these are all possibilities, they are not likely to happen. Instead of spending time thinking about possible negative outcomes, you should devote your energy to the present moment. You are less likely to fail a test, if you spend time in the present studying the material.^{[11]
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4
Be proactive. In order to be proactive you have to try and anticipate what is coming, and easily adapt to changing circumstances. For instance, proactive people do not need to be told what to do. Instead, they usually identify problems as they occur and begin responding to them immediately. Being proactive is an excellent way to make your life less difficult and it is characterized by a more flexible personality.^{[12]
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5
Make life changes. Many people want to make positive changes in their lives, but will fall off the bandwagon quickly. For example, how many times have you tried to eat healthier, and then after a few days you find yourself enjoying fast food? The best way to make a lasting positive change is to learn how to develop habits. By learning how to create new habits you can make a lasting and meaningful change in your life.^{[13]
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- For example, try accomplishing one small task for 5 days in a row. This could be something as simple as pulling the covers up when you get out of bed in the morning.
- Do not attempt to "make the bed," just pull up the covers. After a few days this behaviour will become habitual and you will realize that it would be just as easy to make the bed as it is to pull up the covers.
- Remember to start very small and introduce tiny changes to your routine. Once you have learned how to create new habits it will be easier for you to tackle larger life changes.

Expert Q&A

Question

Why is my life so much harder than everyone else's?

Tracey Rogers, MA
Certified Life Coach
Tracey L. Rogers is a Certified Life Coach and Professional Astrologer based in Philadelphia. Tracey has over 10 years of life coaching and astrology experience. Her work has been featured on nationally syndicated radio, as well as online platforms such as Oprah.com. She is certified as a Coach by the Life Purpose Institute, and she has an MA in International Education from George Washington University.

Tracey Rogers, MA

Certified Life Coach

Expert Answer

It's possible that it just feels that way; everyone struggles from time to time. One thing you can do to make things easier for yourself is to take a self-inventory and figure out what obstacles you can overcome on your own. For any issues you can't solve on your own, consider who you can ask for help! People often feel embarrassed about asking for help, but the people that love and care about you will be more than happy to chip in if they can alleviate some pressure for you.
Question

How do I get what I want in life?

Tracey Rogers, MA
Certified Life Coach
Tracey L. Rogers is a Certified Life Coach and Professional Astrologer based in Philadelphia. Tracey has over 10 years of life coaching and astrology experience. Her work has been featured on nationally syndicated radio, as well as online platforms such as Oprah.com. She is certified as a Coach by the Life Purpose Institute, and she has an MA in International Education from George Washington University.

Tracey Rogers, MA

Certified Life Coach

Expert Answer

Set goals for yourself to help you achieve the things you want in life. Then, keep your focus on these goals.