How to Survive Being an Older Sibling

Last Updated: February 14, 2022

Annoying comments, sounds, or gestures. Having to help them every two minutes with something a two year old can figure out. Abuse that flies under the radar of a parent. Sure, being an older sibling is tough. But here's a way to survive.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Avoiding conflict

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Try not to argue. That may seem practically impossible, but it saves lots of time and energy. If you do have to fight, look at the fourth step.
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Keep your cool. Younger siblings have many ways to annoy you. It seems as if it's just an unusual talent. Pretend like they aren't there and continue doing whatever you're doing. They'll feel like they're talking to a wall and stop.
- If you're doing homework, take extreme measures and either tell your mom or look at them straight in the eye and say, "Stop. I'm doing homework, I need to concentrate, please."
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3
If you do have to argue, just stick to a few main things:
- Always make eye contact when talking to the parent, showing that everything you're saying is 100% true.
- Tell them everything. Don't skip out on any details: the thing you think isn't very important can be a complete game changer.
- Don't let your mom/dad/grandpa/alien mother-in-law/etc. fall for the "Sweet Look" (big eyes, whimpering, and a little curled lip to get what they want). Sure, it helps when wanting to go to the ice cream store, but not during an argument. Keep your straight face and pretend like the look isn't happening. If your mother falls for it, don't talk back. If she really starts to scream at you, say, "I'm telling the truth. I didn't hit her, kick her, or give her that bruise. She got that yesterday when she was running on the playground."
- Don't let your sister/brother get away with lying. The number one outcome of this is: "Was that true?" You need to say: "No." If it is true, don't lie. It will get you in even more trouble.
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Seek a truce. Sure, you don't have to be best friends with your sibling. But try to make peace!

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Being respectful

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Remember that you are older and you do have the right to be firm with younger siblings at times! They don't have the power to tell you, "You're going to take me to the shop" or "Get me my book. Now." They cannot boss you around all the time, but that doesn't mean you can always tell them what to do either! Respect has to be on both sides.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Respecting your space

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Don't let siblings into your room. They can destroy your belongings, get in the reach of personal business (like a diary, phone, school project) or important papers, or trash your room. If possible, put up a padlock. If not, talk to your parents and let them know that you want your room to be just that: yours.
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If you share a room, claim your side of the room or your space. If they say no, then put belongings where they can't get to them.
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Ask siblings to get out of your room with an aura of authority. When they first get in your room ask them to "please get out". When they come in for a second time say "I am going to ask you nicely one more time, please get out". When they come back a third time, it is to mess with you because they know that you are not going to ask them nicely. So just simply ignore them and they will get bored and leave.

Warnings

Parents may not appreciate the sudden fighting back. Always listen to them and obey their commands. But if they're making you obey, Let your sister abuse you, don't stand for it. Talk to them!

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Some siblings are extremely keen and can fly under the radar extremely easily. If you feel to be experiencing that, talk to a parent if none of this works. Don't stand for the abuse, stand against it.

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Never try to get revenge. This is the worst way of taking the situation. It will get your sibling wanting revenge, and then the war breaks loose, and then it's the last bite of the donut all over again! you have to give it up because you're the oldest and you need to be the more responsible one. Stay out of that mess.

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