How to Tell a Man You Like Him

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: June 24, 2021 References

Is there a man you can’t stop thinking about? Are you tired of waiting for him to make the first move? Maybe you’re friends with a man, but you wish it could be more. Nearly every woman has been there, pining for a man in secret. Take charge of your heart and your dating life. Let the man you like know how you feel with these helpful tips.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Showing a Man You Like Him

1
Give him your undivided attention. One of the first steps in letting a man know you’re attracted to him is showing a genuine interest in what he says or does. Whether you’re hanging out together or as part of a group, you’ll have the perfect opportunity to show him that you like him. ^{[1]
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- If you happen to score one-on-one time with him, ask him questions to learn more about him. Try not to pepper him with questions like you’re conducting an interview. Allow the questions to flow naturally while you’re having a conversation. You could start off asking, “So, what do you like to do for fun?” Or if you’re out at a bar or some other kind of venue, “Do you come out here often?” Ask him specific questions as opposed to saying, “Tell me about yourself.” And focus on light topics or simple things. Ask him about his job, his taste in music, or his favorite foods or sports team.
- Try not to ask any awkward, uncomfortable questions.^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
- If you’re in a group, show him more attention than everyone else. While you don’t want to make things awkward by acting as if the rest of the group doesn’t exist, show him he has your attention by hanging out in a spot near him and by positioning your body toward his. Remain active in the group’s conversation, but make an effort to respond when he says something interesting and laugh at his jokes.^{[3]
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2
Arrange to run into him at event. If you’ve managed to have a decent conversation with him and asked good questions, then you should know enough about his interests to figure out where he may hang out. Does he play in a band or participate in a sport? Do you know who his favorite team is? What bar does he like going to on the weekend?
- If he mentions he attends local sports games, grab a friend and arrange to run into him at a game.
- Add him as a friend on Facebook or follow him on Twitter to keep up with his social calendar. Attend a couple events you think you may also enjoy, so you won’t feel out of place.
- Get close to his friends to find out what they often do as a group. When you find out their plans for an evening, suggest you and a few of your friends attend. By making plans this way, it won’t seem so obvious that you’re intentionally trying to arrange quality time with the man you like.
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3
Smile and give him eye contact. If you’re across the room from him, allow him to catch you looking at him. When he does, smile at him for a couple seconds while looking into his eyes, and then look away. Likewise, whenever you catch him looking your way, show you appreciate his attention by smiling.^{[4]
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- Making eye contact and smiling are great ways to flirt.^{[5]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
4
Buy him a gift. Get him a gift that lets him know you’ve been thinking of him. You don’t have to spend a lot of money, or any money at all, if you’re crafty. Choose a gift that you feel reflects his interests or is a reminder of some memorable moment the two of you may have shared. You could buy the bobble-head figure of his favorite sports player. Get him tickets to a concert you’ll both enjoy. If you like making crafts, you could decorate a picture frame and include a cute picture of the two of you, or create a collage of your favorite moments together.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Flirting to Let a Man Know You Like Him

1
Flirt using your body language. Flirting is a fun and obvious way to let a man know that you like him. It’s best to use this method in conjunction with another. You want to send a clear message that you’re attracted to him and not simply flirting for fun.^{[6]
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- When you’re talking, face him and lean your body towards his.^{[7]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} This lets him know you have his full attention, and will stroke his ego a bit if other guys are around.
- Casually and lightly touch him to seem more sensual or playful during conversation. If neither of you moves in for a hug when you say hello, lightly touch his arm. You can touch his hand to add excitement to your conversation.^{[8]
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- Let’s say you have something incredible to tell him. Lean forward excitedly, and while touching his hand exclaim, “And you won’t believe what happened next!” You can also touch him on his shoulder or knee while being playful or teasing him. Lightly push his shoulder with your fingertips while saying, “You’re so silly.” Or touch his knee while telling him how funny he is.^{[9]
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2
Maintain eye contact during conversation. Looking into someone’s eyes for an extended period of time is an immediate way to forge a connection. But it takes confidence to hold someone’s gaze for longer than a couple seconds. It’s easier to look into someone’s eyes while you’re having a conversation. Stare into his eyes for at least 7 seconds at a time when you’re talking to him or when he’s talking to you. You can glance away here and there, but you don’t want to spoil the moment by looking down at your phone or across the room while he’s telling a story about his childhood pet.
3
Dress to impress. Flirting is about grabbing his attention and enticing his eyes. You don’t need to revamp your entire wardrobe. Simply make more of an effort to look nice when you’re around him. You can wear more form fitting clothes to accentuate your features. Take your outfit a step further by applying makeup to emphasize your looks. But don’t overdo it. You want to highlight, not hide your true appearance. Wear a bold lip color, like red, which is a sensual color. And apply mascara and eye shadow to make your eyes pop.
- Dress in something you feel confident in.^{[10]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
4
Flirt by giving him compliments. Generic compliments can come off cheesy and seem half-hearted. To compliment him in a way that shows that you like him, pinpoint something specific about him that you can praise. A couple examples: “That shirt looks really nice on you.” “You’re a great drummer. I loved watching you play.” To make your compliments sound flirty, move closer to him and lower your voice as you talk.
5
Flirt via text. Send him texts that let him know you’re thinking about him. Depending on how well you know each other and the type of person he is, you don’t want to annoy him by sending several texts throughout the day. Keep it light by texting him good morning and telling him you hope he enjoys his day. You can text him a joke or something intriguing you might have heard that’s related to his interests. And you can also compliment him. If you just saw each other the evening before, you could say: “I had fun last night” or “You look nice in blue.”
- It's okay to use emojis, but don't send too many at once. You might seem too eager in the process.^{[11]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}
- Feel free to send him a picture of where you are, or link him to a song that reminds you of him.^{[12]
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  Expert Source
  
  Cher Gopman
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.}

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Telling a Man You Like Him

1
Ask him if he’s single. Naturally, he’ll wonder why you’re asking. And if you’ve been showing him a lot of attention or flirting before throwing out this question, it will be obvious you’re asking because you like him. Even if you already know he’s single (because you may have asked his friends), you can still ask. Look at it as just another way to let him know you’re interested.
- You can bring it up casually during conversation after you’ve talked for a while. If you’ve flirted with him and noticed him responding to you, you can be upfront and ask earlier. Especially if you sense the feeling may be mutual. You could ask him directly: “Are you single?” “Do you have a girlfriend?” Or you could ask in a more playful manner: “So where’s your girlfriend?” “Are you here alone?”
- Be prepared with a follow-up response once he answers. If he says he is single, you can reply by saying “Good” and smile. Or if you’re feeling bold, you can lean towards him and say in a low voice, “I’m in luck then.” If he says he’s in a relationship, it’s best to be respectful and back away at this point. Instead of ending the conversation abruptly, and to keep the moment light, you can tease him by saying, “Darn it! I’m too late.”
2
Tell him directly how you feel. Rather than beating around the bush or throwing out hints, hoping he gets the picture, gather up the courage to let him know that you like him. Arrange a moment where the two of you can have time to talk privately. You can make this moment as serious or as lighthearted as you feel. What you say and how you say it all depends on how much you like him.
- If you’re bold, be straightforward and say, “Hey, I like you. I'd like to be more than friends.” You’re essentially pinning him in a corner with this method. But you’ll know rather quickly if he also likes you or not.
- Tell him you think he’s cute and suggest you both should hang out more. While this is also a direct way to let a man know you like him, it’s also a more casual way to express your feelings. It takes the pressure off of him to respond appropriately since you’re only suggesting you have more fun together. Try saying, “I think you’re cute and a lot of fun. We should hang out more.”
3
Ask him out on a date. If you’re confident, but still don’t want to directly express your feelings, ask him out on a date. You can do this either in person, over the phone, or via text. Let him know you really enjoy his company and would like to spend more time getting to know him better. You could say, “I’ve had a really great time with you lately. You’re a lot of fun. I’d love to spend more time with you. Just the two of us. Would you like to go out sometime?” Have an outing already in mind before you ask. You’re asking him out. You don’t want to turn the tables on him and have him do all the planning.
4
Text him your feelings. Maybe you can’t yet muster up the courage to tell him face to face. Or maybe you fumble over your words when you’re nervous. That’s okay because texting is fine.
- You can send him a text message expressing your feelings as if you were standing in front him. You can make your message either serious or lighthearted, depending on how much you like him. Here’s an example of lighthearted message: “I think you’re really hot. Want to go out sometime?” If you’re feelings are a little more intense, try this: “I have a confession: I can’t stop thinking about you. I think you’re really cute and funny. Maybe you feel the same? If so, let’s go out sometime to get to know each other better.”
- If his feelings aren’t the same, he has the unfortunate ability to ignore your text all together, pretending he never got it. Be prepared for this possibility. And also be prepared for the awkward moments that may follow if you happen to run into him later. You may have to pretend as if you never sent it, or you’ll have to muster up the courage and confront him in person about the text message and your feelings.
5
Tell one of his friends how you feel, and let the friend deliver the message. If you’re close to his friends, you can pick one to confide in about your feelings. They’ll likely be able to tell you if your friend may feel the same. And they definitely won’t hesitate to pass on the message for you.^{[13]
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Warnings

When you’re flirting, don’t overdo it. You don’t want to turn him off by being too suggestive. Especially if he’s not attracted to a woman who flaunts herself too much.

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Don’t stalk him. Yes, you like him and want to spend as much time with him as you can. But don’t arrange to show up at every event or outing you know he’s going to attend.

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