How to Ask Out a Cute Person in Middle School

Co-authored by Imad Jbara

Last Updated: June 20, 2022 References Approved

Middle school socializing can be nerve-wracking, especially when it comes to asking out that boy or girl that you have had your eye on for a while. While it’s intimidating to express romantic feelings for someone, there are ways that you can work up to it without feeling too embarrassed. Ease into asking out your crush by first getting to know them and then moving on to more thoughtful and flirty interactions. Then ask them out privately in person, or give them a note that expresses your feelings.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Getting Comfortable around Them

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Become friends first. People are much more inclined to say ‘yes’ when they’re asked out by someone they know and admire. By talking to your crush from time to time and slowly getting to know them and befriend them, you can relieve some of the pressure and awkwardness later on and also decrease your chances of being turned down.^{[1]
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- Try casually asking if they’d like to be your partner for an activity in class.
2
Ask them about their interests and hobbies. Whenever you have time to chat with your crush, whether at lunch, after school on the bus, or by your locker in between classes, ask them about what they like. This will help you get to know them better and it may also help you to feel connected with them when you find things that you have in common.
- Ask questions like: “What’s your favorite song?” and “Do you play any sports?”
- You can also ask them what the highlight of their day was. That's a great way to learn more about them.
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3
Invite them to sit with you at lunch. During lunch, you have a good amount of free time and don’t have to focus on school work or hurry to get to class. Ask your crush if they’d like to sit at your lunch table to get to know them better and show them that you value spending time with them.
- To keep it casual, ask them as soon as lunch starts instead of hours beforehand.
- Consider saying something like, “Hey! The funniest thing happened today in third period. Do you want to sit with me at lunch so I can tell you all about it?”
4
Get to know them over text. Once you and your crush have established a friendship, it’s appropriate to ask for their number. Send a simple “Hey! What are you up to?” text and see where the conversation goes. When in doubt, ask them questions about themselves. This shows that you’re interested in getting to know them.^{[2]
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- Don’t text your crush constantly or they may get a clingy vibe and want to distance themselves from you. Text them for a bit when it feels natural and then put down your phone and spend some time with your friends and/or family.
- You can also ‘like’ and comment on their posts on social media sites, such as Instagram or Facebook, to get closer to them and show them that you’re interested and paying attention to them.^{[3]
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- Don't solely rely on text to build your relationship with them. Everybody has a specific sense of humor and way of speaking, and it's easy to run into miscommunications over text.^{[4]
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Invite them to hang out with you and some of your friends. Make fun plans with some of your friends and ask your crush if they want to tag along. This gives you a way to spend some quality time together face-to-face and develop a deeper friendship without the pressure of a one-on-one ‘date.’^{[5]
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- Consider going bowling or to the movies.
- You can also suggest that your crush invites a friend or two to join the group as well so that they feel more comfortable.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Taking It to the next Level

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Compliment them. Most people really appreciate being complimented. To start separating yourself from your crush’s other friends, compliment them from time to time. Make sure to keep your compliments genuine by verbalizing characteristics and qualities that really draw you to your crush.^{[6]
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- Don’t compliment your crush too much or they may feel overwhelmed. It’s best to compliment them when the conversation sets you up to do so naturally.
- For example, if the two of you start talking about classes and you admire your crush for how smart they are, you might say, “You always seem to know what’s going on in history class. You’re a really good student and you’re very smart.”
2
Flirt with them. You can really test the waters by starting to flirt a little with your crush. Tease your crush now and then, smile and look them in the eye when you talk to them, and joke around with them. If they smile when they see you and seem to enjoy your presence, then they may be starting to see you as more than a friend.<refhttps://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a37820/chill-ways-to-flirt-with-your-crush/</ref>
- Try standing behind your crush and tapping one of their shoulders while hiding on the other side of them. This might confuse them for a moment and then make them laugh once they see you.
- You can also try giving them an "agreement hug," where you invite them in for a hug after you agree on something or find common ground in a conversation.
3
Give them a gift. Go out of your way to bring your crush a gift. This is a very nice way to show your crush that you pay attention to them and are willing to make an effort to make their day better. If nothing else, this may make your crush view you as thoughtful.^{[7]
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- Consider getting your crush a copy of your favorite book if they like to read a lot.
- If your crush loves sweets, make some brownies at home and bring a couple to school to give to them.
4
Hang out with them one-on-one. Hanging out in a group is something that friends often do, but hanging out one-on-one may feel a little more like a date. Without the pressure of calling it a “date” and without the label of calling each other girlfriend and boyfriend, ask your crush to do something with just you. Consider asking them if they want to come over to your house and do homework together or get ice cream after school.
5
Have a friend drop hints. Ask a trusted friend to talk to your crush about you and have them report back to you about what your crush says. It can feel really vulnerable to ask your crush how they feel about you directly, so this is a good way to test the waters and get an idea about how your crush may feel about you.
- Have your friend say, “Hey, I know that (your name) really likes hanging out with you. Do you like hanging out with (your name)?”
- You can also have your friend ask your crush if there is anyone at school that they like as more than a friend.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Asking Them out

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Talk to them in a somewhat private place. Ask to speak with your crush in the hallway between classes or on the bus after school where there’s not so much attention and pressure on them. Say something like, “I’ve really enjoyed getting closer to you and I like spending time together. Do you want to go out with me?”^{[8]
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- Your crush is more likely to say ‘no’ if you put pressure on them and/or make them uncomfortable by standing up in the middle of the cafeteria or in front of the class and asking them if they want to date you.
2
Give them a note or a call. If you just can’t bring yourself to ask your crush out in person, consider writing a sweet letter to them that shares how you feel or calling them and telling them how you feel on the phone. This way, you can minimize any nervous feelings, collect your thoughts, and clearly say what you want to say.^{[9]
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- Avoid having a friend ask them out for you. This may not be received well by your crush, and/or your friend might not remember exactly what you wanted them to say and say something wrong as a result.
3
Mentally prepare yourself for the possibility of rejection. While you might have strong feelings for your crush, it won’t be the end of the world if they say ‘no.’ Remind yourself that there are many people out there that you may have a connection with, and that rejection doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with you.
- Your crush may not be allowed to date, may already have a boyfriend or girlfriend, or may love being your friend but not have romantic feelings for you.^{[10]
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- Remember that if it doesn’t work out, you can still enjoy having a friendship with the person.
- If your crush says ‘no,’ it’s completely normal and okay to be upset about it. Just do your best to spend time doing activities that you love with friends and family to take your mind off of it and move on.