How to Get a Boy Back over Text

Co-authored by Lisa Shield and Eric McClure

Last Updated: February 14, 2022 References

If you want to get a boy back, you may be wondering what to text him to get his attention. The good news is that you’ve got a ton of options. While you can’t necessarily control what he does or how he feels, you may be able to get his attention again. The goal here is to get him to think about your text enough that he feels compelled to respond, and once he does that, the two of you can reconnect! If you’re looking for some ideas, we’ve got you covered!

1

Go no-contact for at least 30 days.

Your odds improve here if you don’t talk for at least a month. This will give him plenty of time to miss you, and it will give you enough alone time to figure out your gameplan. Block his social media profiles or temporarily delete your profiles, don’t call or text him at all, and just take a break.^{[1]
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Research source}
- If you go to school or work with this boy, keep being friendly if he approaches you but don’t go out of your way to hang out or talk to him.
- This is also key if your break up was over a fight. Taking a month off will give both of you time to cool off, which will increase your odds here.
- Before you text him, be 100% sure that this is a good idea. A lot of people run back to exes because they’re comfortable, but if you broke up for a good reason, it could be best to move on.

2

“Remember when we used to…”

Nostalgia is a powerful feeling, so mention something you did together. You might reference something funny that happened on one of your dates, or bring up something fun you two used to do together. This will put him back into that space emotionally, and he’ll remember just how awesome it was to date you.^{[2]
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Research source} You could try:
- “Hey! Do you remember the name of that restaurant we used to go to? I can’t remember the name but I wanted to check it out with a friend.”
- “Do you remember that roller coaster ride we took where I almost cried because I was so scared and you made me feel better? I almost feel off my bike today and I was instantly reminded of that.”
- “Remember just sitting on the couch in the basement on Saturday mornings? I miss that.”

3

“I just heard a song that reminded me of you.”

If he thinks he’s on your mind, he’ll think about you, too. This is a slick way to get him thinking about you again, and you can lean into an inside joke or memory that will remind him of how good the two of you were together. You can also send a photo to reference whatever you saw that made you think of him.^{[3]
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Research source} You could say:
- “My neighbor just got this dog that looks almost identical to that dog you wanted to adopt. Remember the one we played with at the pet store?”
- “I just saw this show and the main character acts exactly like your dad. You ever seen this one?”

4

“That photo you just posted is really cool.”

Send him a kind note about something he’s been doing lately. If he posted a photo of him and his hockey team raising a trophy up on Instagram, you might congratulate him in your text. If you heard that he got into college, or got a new job, send him a short message saying you’re proud of him. This kind of message signals that you still care about him and that you pay attention to what he’s up to—this alone may be enough to get him to rethink staying single. You could also say:
- “I know you’ve been working really hard on your music lately, and I heard that song you posted yesterday. It’s really good!”
- “I saw that picture you took from your vacation. It looked really neat! Where did you go?”

5

“Hey, I just wanted to say I’m around 😊”

Lighthearted, genuine texts can really win his heart over. If you come right out and say you want to get back together, he might say “no” just out of reflex. But if you say something really authentic and loving about the time you two spent together, it may put him in a different headspace to reconsider you as his partner.
- “You really mean a lot to me, so don’t be a stranger in the future.”
- “If you ever want to talk, I’ll always be there for you.”
- “I know you might be mad at you, but I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.”

6

“I want you back.”

If you want to be with him, consider telling him how you feel. It’s scary to put yourself out there like this, but there’s no shame in being honest and sharing how you feel. Besides, what’s the worst that could happen? He says no and things stay the same? Telling him exactly what you want may be better than trying to play games or trick him into wanting you. You might say:
- “Look, I really like you and I haven’t stopped thinking about you ever since we broke up. Is there any way we could give this another shot?”
- “We were a good couple. We were happy together. I can’t take it anymore, let’s get back together.”
- “You know, I haven’t stopped missing you.”

7

“I miss you.”

If you want to be honest without being too forward, this is a good option. Tell him how he makes you feel—not what you want from him. This way, you put the ball in his court and give him control over the conversation, which is ideal if he’s the kind of guy who needs time to make a decision. If you really want him back, just tell him how you feel.^{[4]
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Research source} You can say:
- “I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. How are you?”
- “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
- “I still really like you.”

8

“Do you think we could have worked things out?”

Ask an open-ended question about your relationship to get him thinking. Posing a meaningful question about what happened in your relationship can get him wondering about how things could have been different. The trick here is to be honest, genuine, and apologetic if you hold any responsibility here. You could ask:
- “Was there something I could have done differently to have been a better partner to you?”
- “Was I a good girlfriend/boyfriend?”
- “What happened to us? Things were going so well and we just started drifting apart.”

9

“I’m sorry for the way I behaved.”

If you split up over a fight, apologizing might bring him back. If the two of you got into a big fight and you haven’t spoken since the breakup, making things right could be the one thing that will make him change his mind and take you back. However, you should only apologize if you really mean it!^{[5]
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Research source} You could try:
- “Hey, I just want you to know that I’m truly sorry about all of the things I said when I was angry. I didn’t mean them.”
- “I’m sorry I wasn’t a better partner to you. If I could go back and change the way things went, I would.”
- “I haven’t been able to sleep since we broke up. I know I was wrong, and I apologize. I just needed to say that.”

10

“Oops! Wrong person, sorry!”

The “accidental” text is a great way to capture his attention! Sending a “whoops” text is all about getting them to think you’ve got a lot going on, which can intrigue them. Compose a message that’s a little mysterious and suggests you’re busy with other things going on in your life. This will be especially effective if you think he’s prone to a little jealousy or you want to pique his interest fast.^{[6]
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Research source} You may send him:
- “I just finished talking to him. He says he wants to hang out later.” If he replies back asking who you’re talking about, you can play it off like there’s another guy, or it’s just a friend.
- “Yeah, I’ll be there on Saturday.” When he texts back asking what you’re on about, you can say, “Oh, sorry, that was meant for someone else. I’m going to…”
- You could also just use something short that you might say mid-convo, like, “Totally,” or “No. U?” That will get his attention and you can take it from there.

11

“Happy National Text Your Ex Day!”

Yes, it’s corny, but if it’s October 30th, it’s also technically true. What better excuse for texting an ex than a holiday? It may not be as popular as Halloween, but it’s definitely a legit holiday. Send him a nice little note and wish him well on his celebrations.^{[7]
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Research source} You could say:
- “I just discovered that today is National Text Your Ex Day. Anyways, happy holidays!”
- “You know what October 30th is? Hint: I’m celebrating right now.”
- “What kind of festivities should we engage in for National Text Your Ex Day?”

12

Let the convo develop and take things slow.

When he does respond, just play it cool and talk. You don’t need to do anything special or fancy to get him to take you back now. He replied, which means he’s willing to talk. That’s all the opening you need, so just enjoy the conversation and let things develop organically. It may take a few days or weeks of texting to get him interested in you again, but so long as you’re chatting it up, you’re on the right path.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.}
- You could ask him, “How are you?” or, “What have you been up to?” just to feel things out and talk about what he’s doing. This is also a great way to gauge whether he’s open to getting back together or not.
- What the two of you end up talking about should depend entirely on entirely how he responds. When in doubt, just try to be friendly, honest, and upbeat. If he wants to get deep, that’s fine, too. Just let him guide the conversation.
- Don’t overthink it. The goal here is to get him back, and going from not texting to texting is a great first step. The longer you two are talking, flirting, and joking, the better your odds become.

13

Send one text at a time.

If you text him and he doesn’t reply, don’t send multiple follow-ups. A big part of getting a boy back is making him think you really don’t need him. Sending two or three texts in a row without him replying can make it seem like you’re desperate. It also might scare him into thinking you’re clingier than you are. Play it cool and just wait. He’ll respond eventually.^{[9]
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Research source}
- The odds are very high that he just put his phone down for a while or he’s preoccupied. Even if he isn’t though, he saw your text. He’s thinking it over. He’s trying to figure out how to respond, so let him do his thing.

14

Let him go if you aren’t making progress.

If you aren’t getting much of a response, it’s probably best to move on. He’s your ex for a reason. If you try to text him and he isn’t responding or the two of you aren’t clicking the way you’d like, it may be best to move on. As much as that may hurt, you should know that there are other boys out there, and you will find someone for you.^{[10]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.}