How to Know if a Girl Likes You Secretly

Written by Connell Barrett | Edited by Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: December 13, 2022 References

You want to be more than friends, but it’s so hard to know what a girl is thinking. Is she into you? Does she think you’re just a friend? Does she even know you exist? You don’t have to keep stressing because we’re here to help you decode her words and actions. We’ve compiled all the best signs and secrets to uncovering her true feelings about you. Read on to figure out if you should ask her out!

This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Connell Barrett, founder of Dating Transformation. Check out the full interview here.

1

She makes eye contact, plays with her hair, or acts nervous.

Her body language won’t be able to keep her secret for long. A girl who likes you will act differently around you than she does around her friends. She’ll either be really focused on you or kind of nervous and fidgety.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

LeTisha Underwood
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.} Here are the signs that she probably likes you:^{[2]
X
Research source}^{[3]
X
Research source}
- She maintains eye contact with you or immediately looks away.
- She smiles at you a lot.
- She plays with her hair while talking to you.
- She licks her lips while looking at you.
- She fidgets nervously whenever you’re around.
- She blushes around you.
- She seems overly concerned about her looks.
- She leans toward you.
- Her toes face toward you.

2

She uses a lot of emojis when she texts you.

Girls like emojis, and they may use more when they like you. Go back through your text message exchanges to see if there are a lot of emojis coming from her. If so, it could be a sign that she likes you. However, it could just mean that she likes emojis, so definitely look for other signs if you’re nervous about asking her out.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Some emojis are more flirty than others! If she’s sending you the heart, heart-eyes, or winky face emoji, there’s a good chance she likes you.

3

She laughs at all of your jokes.

Tell her a corny joke to see if she'll laugh. Memorize a couple of cheesy jokes to tell her next time you see her. You could also try texting her the jokes to see if she’ll respond with an emoji, gif, or comment, such as “So funny!” Here are some jokes you might try:^{[5]
X
Research source}
- “What do you call a pig who does karate?” “A pork chop.”
- “What does a tree say when you ask why it got cut down?” “I’m stumped.”
- “Why did the farmer cross the road?” “He saw the chicken do it.”
- “Why doesn’t James Bond fart in bed?” “He’d blow his cover!”

4

She tells you she's single.

She wants you to know she’s single so you’ll ask her out! Pay attention when she’s talking so you can catch any mentions of her relationship status. Here are some examples of things she might say:^{[6]
X
Research source}
- “I’m single.”
- “All my friends are dating, but I’m all alone.”
- “I wonder if I’ll ever find someone.”
- “It’s been so long since I’ve dated anyone.”
- “I still haven’t found a date to the dance.”

5

She mirrors your actions.

When a girl likes you, she'll often mimic your expressions and gestures. Make a small gesture to see if she'll copy you. If she does, it could mean she's into you. Here are some things you might try:^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Nod your head.
- Cross your legs.
- Clasp your hands together.
- Smile.
- Raise your eyebrows.

6

She gets excited when you compliment her.

Give her a compliment and see how she reacts. You can do this in-person or over text. Tell her you really like her style choices today or that you’re really impressed by something she did. She may secretly like you if she seems extremely happy or she reciprocates your compliment.^{[8]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
- Say something like, “This outfit looks amazing on you!” “You were so great at karaoke last night!” or “You are the funniest person I’ve ever met!”

7

She wants to keep the conversation going.

Strike up a conversation in-person or over text to test her interest. Start a conversation by asking her questions about herself, her interests, or current events. A girl who’s into you will want to keep talking to you and ask you about your plans.^{[9]
X
Expert Source

LeTisha Underwood
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.} Here are some questions you could ask:^{[10]
X
Research source}
- What movie should I watch on Netflix and why?
- What’s your favorite thing about this city?
- Do you have any secret talents?
- I’m looking for a book to read. What are your recommendations?
- Which superhero do you like best?
- What’s your dream job?
- How is your project coming along?
- What did you think of the movie you saw last night?

8

She likes hugging and touching you.

Casually touch her to see how she reacts. You might need to work up to this one, so don’t try touching a girl you don’t know well. When it feels right, try lightly touching her arm or leaning into her. If you’re friends or acquaintances, go in for a quick hug to see if she’ll reciprocate. If she hugs or touches you back, it could be a sign she’s into you.^{[11]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}^{[12]
X
Research source}
- Start with something really casual, like brushing against her or sitting close to her to see if she stays close or moves away.^{[13]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  LeTisha Underwood
  Certified Professional Matchmaker
  Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.}
- You could also try asking for a hug. Say, “It’s good to see you! Should we hug?”
- If she pulls away or her body tenses, it’s possible she doesn’t like you as more than a friend. Give her some space so she doesn’t feel uncomfortable.

9

She remembers details about you.

A girl who likes you will remember what you tell her. Keep track of what you talk or text about with her. Then, bring up topics you’ve already discussed. Hopefully, she’ll remember what you said before, as this could be a good sign she likes you.^{[14]
X
Research source}
- For example, let’s say you’re really into superhero movies, and there’s a new Marvel movie coming out. You might say, “I can't wait to go to the movies this weekend. Can you guess what I'm seeing?”
- Alternatively, maybe you told her all about your dog’s obsession with escaping. You might text her a picture of your dog in front of the door, along with the question, “Can you guess what she’s trying to do?”

10

She wants to know everything about you—and wants you to know about her.

Open up to her to see if she'll do the same with you. You don't need to tell her your deepest, darkest secrets, but share something you wouldn't tell just anyone. Tell her a few personal stories, and talk about your goals and interests. Additionally, encourage her to share her thoughts with you.^{[15]
X
Research source}
- As an example, you might tell her about your childhood dream of becoming an astronaut or about the time you almost drowned while swimming.
- After you tell her a story, try to get her to open up. You might say something like, “That’s why I’m so obsessed with space. What did you want to be when you grew up?”

11

She talks to her friends about you.

She won’t be able to stop talking about you if she likes you. That means her friends will definitely know your name and will likely know some juicy information about you. Talk to her friends to see what they have to say. Here are some signs she’s been dishing about you:^{[16]
X
Research source}
- They all know your name, even though it’s your first time meeting them.
- They know about something you never told them.
- They talk about her to you.
- They ask you what you think about her.

12

She seems interested in being more than just friends.

Tell her you want to be more than just friends and gauge her reaction. It’s really scary to be so direct, but it can help you avoid the dreaded “friend zone.” She’ll either back off because she’s not interested, or she’ll tell you she’s interested in you.^{[17]
X
Expert Source

LeTisha Underwood
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.} Just make sure you only do this if you really don’t want to be “just friends.”^{[18]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
- You might say, “You’re such an interesting girl, and I like spending time with you. But I want you to know that I’m not interested in just being friends.”
- Alternatively, say, “You seem really cool, and I was hoping we could hang out this weekend. I’d like to get to know you as more than a friend.”

13

She agrees to go out with you.

Be brave and invite her out on a date. While it’s scary, you’ll know for sure if she’s into you. If you’re super nervous, try asking her over text. She might say “no,” but at least then you can focus your attention on someone who’s a better option.^{[19]
X
Expert Source

Connell Barrett
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.}
- You might say, “Hey, are you free for coffee on Thursday afternoon? I’d love to get to know you better,” or “I feel like I’m always gravitating toward you at these group hangouts. Did you want to get dinner sometime, just the two of us?”
- Text something like, “The winter formal is coming up in a few weeks. Do you want to be my date?” or “That new Italian place just opened up. Would you like to join me for dinner this Friday?”

Community Q&A

Question

Is she interested in me or just being friendly over text?

LeTisha Underwood
Certified Professional Matchmaker
LeTisha Underwood is a Certified Professional Matchmaker and the CEO of Two Hearts Exclusive Matchmaking Services. With more than five years of experience, she specializes in helping marriage-minded people find their life partners. LeTisha holds a Matchmaker Certification from The Global Love Institute.

LeTisha Underwood

Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Pay close attention to what she says! She may be dropping some clues, like always asking about your upcoming plans.
Question

How do you tell the difference between being friendly and interested?

LeTisha Underwood
Certified Professional Matchmaker
LeTisha Underwood is a Certified Professional Matchmaker and the CEO of Two Hearts Exclusive Matchmaking Services. With more than five years of experience, she specializes in helping marriage-minded people find their life partners. LeTisha holds a Matchmaker Certification from The Global Love Institute.

LeTisha Underwood

Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Answer

An interested person will be very flirtatious in nature. They'll also want to be or get physically close to you.