How to Be Friends With a Lesbian

Last Updated: July 19, 2022

Discovering that someone you know is a lesbian can confuse you or make you uncomfortable. However, realizing that they are still human greatly improve the likelihood of a friendship.

1

Consider why your friend's orientation would even matter to you.

Does it change your opinion of her? Do you have some fears or preconceptions about lesbians that make you feel uncomfortable? Or perhaps you have romantic feelings towards her? Unpack your feelings and why/if your friend's sexuality bothers you.

2

If you're a girl, don't assume she is attracted to you.

This is a common misconception between girls with a lesbian friend. Lesbians (or anyone) aren't attracted to everyone of a certain gender just because of their sexuality. She's not attracted to all women just because she's lesbian.

3

Respect her sexuality and privacy.

If she doesn't want people to know she's a lesbian, then don't go around telling everyone. But if she's open about it, don't hide it from anyone, because that could make her think you're ashamed of her somehow. If you tell everyone, she will likely angry with you.

4

Treat her like you treat everybody else.

Lesbians are people, too. There is no need to act differently around her simply because of her sexual orientation. Accept that she's lesbian, and move on. Treat her the same way you would treat a straight person, or anybody else.
- If you were already friends before, none of your behavior towards her needs to change just because she's a lesbian.

Warnings

Avoid trying to set her up with a girl unless she asks for it.

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Don't try to befriend someone just because of their sexuality.

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Don't make fun of her behind her back.

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